Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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