Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
tell me about the fingering
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