Fuck appropriateness.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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