Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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