At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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