Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
