I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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