Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
