Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it's like iHOP with fire
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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