Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
