he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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