I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
