what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
