how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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