a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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