remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
