Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I could make wine with my vomit
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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