I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
