im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize