Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
