Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
