You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
wow bdsm is so cute
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
