I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
