How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
