So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she looked like the before picture.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
