I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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