R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
