if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
vagina is talking i cant
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize