She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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