A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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