i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
