peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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