Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
