the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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