You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
