Sober January is a disaster.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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