i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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