so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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