Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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