he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize