I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The struggles of a small town man whore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize