Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dear god my vagina.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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