Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
