4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize