adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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