i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
