have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
