Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
even my farts smell like vagina
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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