thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
