break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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