How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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