Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
