I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
