He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
