I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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