She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
