So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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