News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
