jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
