Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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