Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
