If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
