I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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