i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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