he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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