my sisters under your porch take her home
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
