How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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