Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
