her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
