Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize