therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well I can't set my house on fire every night
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
