Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
