that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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