by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
