i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
