therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
